I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
