last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
