his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
