I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize