Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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