I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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