Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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