I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
