I got chris browned last night
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
