we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
