Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize