Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
