On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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