If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
