haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
