I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
