You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Randomize
