I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize