Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
