when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
