is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
