Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
