did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
