bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
one two three fourrrrnication!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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