every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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