i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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