apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
