Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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