Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
