Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
