I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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