We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize