Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
