he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize