I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
