Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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