This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
