im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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