Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
