we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
