She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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