Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
