Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
This house was built for laser tag.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
