hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
