I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
