He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
