I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
