Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
