Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
