thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
