I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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