I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
and she was petting her beer can
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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