Having a random hookup so left but love u
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize