i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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