Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
