She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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