before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
