I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
