Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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