We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
