Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
