i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Found the puke drawer
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
