i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
