its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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