i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
