thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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