I need help removing her.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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