Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
