I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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