bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
