would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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