We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
