Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
