im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
